


A hard life

by FanFic_lover



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV), Outlander (TV)
Genre: Etc.1800, Extreme Abuse, Forbidden Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2019-10-18 14:06:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17582324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFic_lover/pseuds/FanFic_lover
Summary: Takes place in etc. 1800.The family Randall is a wealthy family, with many crops.With the mother still alive the slaves are as gently treated as could and James/Jamie grew up with the Morgan family, and Derek as friend.Mother did teach him that they’re not equal, but James doesn't understand at a young age. Mother is the one who keeps father in check, keeps him out of the way of Jamie and most of the slaves. After she died he beats the slaves and helps himself on the men. He calls male slaves to the office, his room or the stable to rape them.Jamie stands up to his father and takes as many beatings as he can for any slave, but especially (Derek) morgan. After they grow older they discover they have feelings for each other, and father does notice something is going on.Characters :Derek Morgan-slaveLativa Morgan-slave, motherSamuel Morgan- slave, fatherWill Morgan- slave, brotherJames/Jamie fraser/randall -SonJack Randall- fatherCatherina Randall- motherBethany Fraser- mother of Catherina/Grandma





	1. The realization

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so the fandoms don’t add up, or make any sense. I just wanted to write this story with these characters.  
> I don’t mean to offend anyone either :)

‘Ha! I win!’ Derek looked proud at the chess board and then at me. I saw he didn't win, the move he made was invalid. ‘You’re learning fast’ I smiled. I was rearranging the board when mother stood in the doorway, ‘your father will be home soon, Derek it’s better if you start cleaning downstairs’. He got up without arguing and walked away, ‘shall I go help him?’ I said. She smiled, ‘no my boy, it’s his job’. ’But he’s only a year older than me!’ she sat down next to me ‘you’re 5 now so it’s time I tell you the truth, i've waited too long’. She sat down on the couch and put me on her lap. ‘The Morgan family don't just live here, they work for us, we paid for them and that makes them our slaves. Derek is a year older than you and he has to do everything we tell him, I assigned him to you’. ‘So he isn't my friend?’ ‘When you are alone with him, but to the world outside and also your father, we can't show them’. I looked at her, confused ‘ I don't want to be mean to them mother’. I cried and she hugged me ‘I hope everyone thinks like that one day sweetheart’. 

‘Master Jamie!’ I opened my eyes and saw a smiling Derek next to my bed. I sighed, refusing his assistance would mean he would get beaten so I smiled at him. ‘Good morning master and happy 17th birthday’. I gave him a nudge and smiled, I walked to the table and got a bracelet and gave it to Derek ‘happy 18th birthday’. Flushed he put it on. I walked to the bathroom and Derek waited outside by the door like I asked him. I was ashamed of my body, my bruises, they already had enough drama of their own. I was stripped down and was about to step into the bath when I heard my father in the hallway. I told Derek that if my father should come into the room, he should come in at once to avoid a beating. And Derek listened and came in, but this time I wasn't in bath, nor was I covered. He looked to the ground when he saw I was naked. But when father came barging in he stood before me, shielding me against my father's eyes. ‘I'm almost done father’ but he hardly listened, he just looked and tried to sneak a peak of me. ‘I've sent Samuel to lay flowers on the grave of your mother so we don't have to waste our time, hurry up breakfast is ready’. He walked away and I let a tear run down my face, I wiped it away and noticed that I felt quite exposed. ‘Thank you’ I whispered and he went back to the door but held his eyes on the floor -or so I thought-. I felt strange around him, he made my head spin, no! Forget it, don't even think about it, it could mean death.  
I got dressed really quick and went downstairs were there was breakfast for two. Derek went to stand behind my chair, waiting for further orders. ‘Happy birthday master!’ I smiled at Lativa, the mother of Morgan and smiled ‘thank you’. Father was as rude as always to the slaves and I had to bite my tongue, as always. ‘I'll have to go away in a bit for business, i'll be back tomorrow’. I hid my smile and ate my breakfast, father ordered Derek to fill his water when he suddenly grabbed his wrist. I saw Lativa standing there in fear, ‘where did you steal this?’ Derek was too startled and scared to give an answer ‘I gave it to him for his birthday father’. He looked at me with his evil face and choose to not believe me. ‘You know what we do with thieves, outside boy!’ ‘No!’ I yelled, ‘no father! Please! I gave it to him’. Lativa tried to persuade father but he wouldn't listen to any plea. I felt so guilty, I gave him the bracelet! It was my fault. And determined but scared I followed them to the tree where father bound Derek to. I tried and tried but he seemed deaf. The slaves inside and outside stopped to look, Derek looked very scared but didn't cry. He had his whip and was ready to launch when I stepped in front of the whip to protect Derek. The slaves moved back out of fear, my father’s eyes turned even darker ‘go away’. ‘No, he hasn't done anything, it was my bracelet and I gave it to him’. ‘He is not your friend, he is a filthy slave and if you not step away you will be treated as one’. I didn't even hesitate and turned my back to him and shielded Derek with my body as best as I could, he didn't like that, it made him furious with jealousy I knew that but stayed on my place nevertheless. I had my hands over Derek's and with the first lash I squeezed his hand while I tried to hold my ground. ‘You better stay there now, if you move he's dead’. I heard Derek cry and wasn't planning on giving in. It was as if a demon had possessed him, he launched again and again. I had much difficulty with not passing out, let stand trying not to fall to the ground. Just when I was about to pass out he tossed the whip aside and panted heavily. ‘You better stay exactly where you are until I'm out of sight’, he spit on the ground and walked away. Lativa signaled to Samuel who just came back from his flower trip and they both held me on my feet. ‘Thank you master for saving our son’. ‘M-my fault’ I managed to say before I lost conscious.

I moved an inch and regretted it instantly. They had laid me down on my stomach on the sofa and Derek had fallen asleep by my side. I smelled all kinds of spices and Lativa came in with a pot, she woke Derek and ordered to gently apply it on my back. ‘Share the leftovers with the rest, my father is gone so no need for it to go to the animals’. She nodded and took everything to the barn to split between the slaves. ‘Are you ok?’ I asked him. ‘Me? You saved my life’, ‘no I had to because it was my fault’. He handed me a glass of whiskey ‘drink this before I apply it, it works wonders but it hurts like hell’. I drank it and put a pillow in my mouth and screamed while he applied it. When he was finished he sat down next to me, ‘I hope father dies soon in an awful way’. I sat up straight ‘this is good stuff, I can hardly feel the pain’. ‘Oh the pain is still there, this dulls it for a time so the worst is over when you start feeling it again’. ‘I'm very sorry I brought you in danger, I seem to forget not many people see you as humans’. ‘Why did you do it? Stand in front of me? Many would have just let me get a beating, their fault or not’. I looked him in the eye ‘I've known you since I was a little boy, I don't see you as property, I see you as a friend’. ‘That will get you killed one day’. ‘Oh that's not what's gonna kill me, trust me I'm a walking sin, I don’t deserve redemption’. ‘Don’t talk like that Jamie, it can't be that bad’. I took his face in my hands and kissed him gently and my butterflies went crazy. ‘Still think that?’ I looked at his shocked face. ‘Just go, be with your family and enjoy the good food’. I turned my back to him to avoid looking at his face and laid down as soon as he walked out. I hoped that I was deep asleep before the pain would come back to me.  
I heard a noise and sleepily I turned around and there were the lips of Derek, kissing me gently but passionate. ‘We’re both doomed’ and after another kiss he sneaked out, leaving me speechless.


	2. Bound

‘Master’ Lativa stroked my face and woke me ‘you need to freshen up before your father comes back, Derek will help you, you can not bath alone’ and she gave me a friendly smile. She knew I always was alone in the bathroom but I could hardly breath, let stand manage a bath on my own. I didn't want to get any of the other slaves in trouble and that would happen if I asked anyone but Derek to help me take a bath. It was already noon, she let me sleep in. I sat up and had to sit still for a moment while the tears filled my eyes. Derek waited patiently and helped me on my way to the bathroom, he closed the door and looked as uncomfortable as I felt. The tub was already filled with hot water but Derek would need to help me undress first. He opened the belt and pulled everything down, I looked at him and I felt myself getting aroused, oh no, please not now. He made me look him in the eyes and I saw he smiled ‘ do not worry about it, I think you are very handsome as well. My mother says that the body cannot lie whom he likes’ he gave me a kiss and stripped down himself. He too was aroused and I smiled. He helped me in the bathtub and he got the softest sponge there was. I took a deep breath and sat down, the water hurted my back so much that I squeezed the edges of the bath till my knuckles were white. Derek sat on his knees next to me ‘how bad does it look?’ I asked. ‘It's not infected but you are going to have a lot of scars’. He gave me his hand ‘squeeze my hand while I clean your back with my other hand’. I let out a big scream and squeezed his hand and hoped I wouldn't pass out from the pain. ‘Your back is done, all clean’. He cleaned the sponge and put some soap on it, he cleaned my arms and my chest and I couldn't help myself but be aroused when he moved up my legs. A shame that I hurted too bad to really enjoy it. Once dressed I felt a bit better, I looked if the door was closed and moved closer to Derek, who still was undressed. ‘Is it okay if I kiss you?’ He smiled and as answer he kissed me, half panting I finally released him, both with flushed cheeks. I watched him getting dressed ‘you are so beautiful’ shocked I looked at him ‘I said that out loud didn't I?’ He smiled shyly and gave me a kiss ‘you should be careful saying that out loud in this house, we’re doomed, but I want to enjoy it a little longer. Come sit in the garden till your father comes. I have to help outside for a little’.  
I couldn't help but feel guilty for him and everyone working while I was sitting there, watching them sweat. I was convinced I was born in the wrong time, I seemed to be the only one, besides the slaves, who was against having slaves. I did enjoy seeing Derek taking his shirt off in the hot sun. I heard my father arriving and saw he had his two best friends with him, Elliot and Matthew. They looked at me and walked in the house without a word, which made me even more nervous. They poured themselves some whiskey and came sitting next to me. ‘I'm going to teach you what you need to do to keep our business going’. I swallowed, I never wanted to follow in his footsteps and own slaves. ‘You need to know how to deal with slaves, they are not your friends and you are no longer a child so I will teach you’. ‘I will never hurt them’. ‘Your mother ruined you, she died just in time, I can still make it right’. I swallowed my anger and tears, I wasn't able to take one of his regular beatings yet either. Elliot put his hand on my crotch and stroked it, shocked I looked at them and then at dad ‘stop it!’. But he wasn't planning on stopping and he kept stroking me, I struggled and tried to plead, ‘not here please’. ‘There is no one here, those piece of shits are not going to help you’. Matthew kneeled next to me on the other side and made sure I stayed where I was. I saw Derek and saw that he would come here, which would mean his death. ‘Okay let's take this inside’ dad said and I breathed a sigh of relief. They walked to dad's bedroom and looked at me ‘I’m just going to take a sip of water, i'll be there in a minute’ and I walked to the kitchen and found Lativa ‘please stop Derek if he wants to go in the room, it would mean his death, my dad is very jealous of him you see’ I whispered. She gave me a kiss on my forehead and walked towards the garden. With a stone in my stomach I walked towards the bedroom and closed the door behind me.  
Dad has never shared me before, and that’s why this terrified me. Elliot and Matthew walked straight towards me, ‘please be careful’ I whispered and I saw Matthews look. In answer I unbuttoned my shirt and turned around. ‘Do you want the kid dead or something?’ Matthew asked furious. ‘Take the anger out on those niggers next time’. My heartbeat went crazy, I was really scared and shook with fear. Elliot was impatient and reached for my pants, startled I took a step back and realized that was a mistake. Elliot threw me on bed and ripped off my pants, I tried not to pass out from the pain I felt in my back. ‘He’s about to pass out’ Matthew said. ‘Who cares’ they answered. Matthew came next to my head and as sneaky as possible gave me a punch that knocked me unconscious.  
I woke and remembered where I was before I passed out, in panic I looked around and saw I was in my own bed. I saw Derek in his small bed on the other side of my room, he rarely slept there, only when I was sick or asked him to. I moved a bit and flinched, I hurted down and I felt sick and disgusted. I started crying and couldn’t tell if the hands I felt on my body were a memory or my imagination. Derek woke and jumped out of bed to me. I didn’t know what to say, I just cried in his arms. Without a word he took me to the bathroom and filled the tub. He closed the door by putting a chair under the knob. He took off my robe and he his nightshirt and we both stepped in the tub. He sat down and I sat down in front of him, between his legs. He put his hands around me, it was so strange that this felt so nice, so good,I only felt his hands on my chest. He gave me a kiss in my neck, I took his hand and put it on my penis, I only wanted to feel his hands, his body on mine. Both in some kind of trance, we got out of the tub and went to my bedroom. Very gently he laid me down on bed and sat on top of me and kissed me passionately. He went down and took my penis in his mouth and put a finger inside me. I liked how he moved with pleasure, the faces he made. He stopped and while kissing he led me on my back again and looked me in the eye, I nodded and very gentle he came inside. I liked it this way, it didn’t hurt, our hips went up and down in the same rhythm. I bit my lip and and squeezed in his arms and for the first time I came. I buried myself in his embrace and we just looked at each other, both flushed and panting. ‘ I didn’t know it could feel this good’ Derek whispered. Then it hit me, dad didn’t just force himself on me, also on him. I wiped his tear away, what could I possibly say to that? ‘I’m sorry for my dad’ I whispered ‘I’m sorry too’. I stroke his cheek ‘you are so beautiful’ he looked away but I forced his eyes into mine, ‘you are, you’re not my slave, not my nigger, I’m falling very hard for you. You’re beautiful in every way. Don’t believe my dad, believe me’. He smiled and pulled me closer to him and so we fell asleep.  
The sunlight in my room woke me and I saw that Derek had already left, probably to help with the crops. I knew I had to act normal around Derek but all I wanted to was to be with him. I sighed, why couldn’t I just be attracted to woman? I got dressed and wanted to walk down the stairs when I heard a soft cry from my father's room and my heart skipped a beat, that sounded like Derek! I hesitated, if I walked in and my father was still in, he would hurt Derek or maybe worse. An anger inside me rose at the thought he could hurt Derek and I opened the door. Derek sat on the bed and dad was getting dressed, dad gave me a look, like he expected that I would come in. I wanted to comfort Derek, but I didn’t wanted to give him a reason to hurt Derek, he needed to stick with me and only me. ‘You can’t get it up for me anymore?’ His look changed and Derek looked shocked at me. He came and stood before me but this time I wasn’t scared, I had a purpose, a love. ‘What did you say?!’ ‘You heard me, your friends won't like it if you fuck black boys. Stick to your own kind, or better, find a woman’. It took him a minute to process how I spoke to him. ‘ I believe you need a good lesson’ he smirked ‘ you won't ever even think that again after I’m done with you’. He walked towards the door and grabbed me by my hair and dragged me outside. I was scared at this point, I wasn’t, by a long shot, brave or strong enough for what I just did. He bound me with my back against the tree, at least my back was safe from harm this way. ‘Get all the slaves here’ he said to a slave standing nearby. After 15 minutes the whole backyard was full with slaves and it scared the hell out of me. Derek stood by his parents and didn’t hold back his tears. ‘He needs to learn discipline, and you’re all going to help, well at least the males’. I almost choked in my breath. He ordered all the women and little children further back and all the male slaves, old and just barely old enough, stood around dad. I knew I was loved by the slaves but that didn’t matter at this point. There were at least around 50 male slaves around him. ‘ I don’t care how long it takes, no one leaves till these niggers all have fucked you’. There was a wave of shock by the slaves, as well as with me. ‘If you refuse, you join him, or i’ll shoot you, whatever my mood at that moment is’. He looked at me and walked towards me and whispered: ‘good luck’. ‘This still doesn’t prove you can get it up’ I whispered back. In answer he ripped off my shirt and tore my trousers. There I stood, naked and embarrassed before many. They looked down as a first response, but had to look at me eventually. Dad turned to Derek ‘shall we start with you?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, tips/comments and feedback are always welcome :) busy with chapter 3.


	3. Insane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance for any grammar I may have done wrong.

Dad sat down, just where he could see everything. They all lined up and sat down on their place, they all realized that this could take a while. Only Derek stood and couldn’t stop crying while he walked to me. ‘I’m so sorry’ he managed to say between his tears. ‘Don’t be, he is crazy and that’s nobody’s fault’. It was a small relief that Derek was the first, he was the one that needed to get me wet for all the others to come. I had no free hands to guide him, I was really helpless. Derek put down his trouser and looked one last time at dad, I saw that all the slaves looked to the ground. ‘Let’s begin while we still have light shall we?’ Dad said. I started it by kissing Derek, it was hardly a secret anymore and I wanted to help him, he still cried but he kissed back and put his hand on my penis and stroked it. I was ashamed that it still aroused me, but also thankful. Very gently he came in, I closed my eyes to not see my father. He was gentle but trying to get it over with, it took some time but finally he came. I looked him in the eye and gave him a kiss ‘go stand with your mother’ I whispered and he walked away. That was one..   
I stopped counting at 15, I could barely stand, every slave had to held me up straight, I was exhausted. Every man said how sorry he was, I just closed my eyes and pretended it to be Derek, but that only helped the first few times. Everything hurts and I couldn’t held my tears back any longer. I couldn’t see how many there were left, my sight was blurry. Suddenly dad stood up, ‘get him to his room, now!’. He didn’t have to say that twice, Derek rushed to me and lifted me up, he let no one else touch me. While we were almost inside, I heard a carriage coming, we had visitors.   
Derek filled the tub with hot water and put me in it and cleaned me and laid me in bed, he didn’t know what to do next so I gestured him next to me. He laid down next to me and I put my head on his chest and cried softly. He stroked my hair without saying a word and it calmed me down. ‘I wish we could run away together’ I said. ‘Go and sleep, i’ll be here’.   
He stroked my hair till I fell asleep in his arms. I woke when someone stroke my face, I froze, scared it might be dad, it wasn’t, it was grandma! I hugged her and ignored my pains. Derek was still asleep next to me and I panicked a little bit. But she just smiled I’m so glad you have so much of my Catherina in you, but you have to be careful, you’re lucky it’s just me. ‘How are you feeling my boy, your father says you’ve fallen ill’. Of course he would say that, I thought. ‘I’m okay, getting better. Say grandma, can’t I go home to your place?’ You’re always welcome my boy, but let's talk about that a little later. Go and sleep some more, i’ll see you in the morning’. She left and I turned around, Derek wasn’t asleep anymore. ‘How nice would it have been if we could have gone with her right away’ I said. He smiled ‘yes, she is really nice, just as your mother’. He went to sleep on his bed on the other side of the room in case my father decided to show up. He did show up and he threw Morgan out and locked the door. ‘Feeling better?’ He smirked. ‘I’m feeling fine’ I lied, ‘that’s good to hear since you’re gonna have to take care of yourself, Morgan will be occupied in the barn, with all the other slaves who think they have a say’. He threw me as hard back in bed as I stood up and he had no problem holding me there. ‘You’re getting my undivided attention, and make no mistakes, when I’m done with you, you’ll be a real men’. ‘Oh you mean like you? Someone who likes to force men into sex’. He just looked at me and walked away, he locked the door, so his big plan was to hold me here as a prisoner? I could access my bathroom and sleeping room, and that’s it, all doors to outside where closed. It was fine at the moment, I had to heal anyway and that needed some time, I only was very concerned for Morgan and hoped he wasn’t treated to badly. I was here for quite some time, I had slept most of it and I did feel better physically. It was after 2 days and in the afternoon when dad came back in again. ‘That old woman is finally gone, so sorry for the interruption’. I wanted to ask how Derek was, but I was afraid to give him ideas. ‘You like those niggers so much,i’ll treat you like one of them. I’ll teach you the right way to handle them’. He got me up and dragged me to the living room, the kitchen was open and right next to it I saw that Samuel and Lativa were among the slaves who were in the kitchen. He had his belt in his hand, ‘now strip boy’ I looked at him, in disbelief and he whipped me on my chest. My body had endured too much, to get another beating would be too soon. So I undressed myself and just stood there, he came really close and put his hand on my penis ‘I do like your red curls, they always aroused me’ he said while he sniffed at my hair. He threw me on my back on the kitchen table, where most slaves were preparing for dinner, they were too shocked to move. He was very aggressive and he came inside, I was still incredibly sore down there. By the time he was done I was crying, he took me by my hair and walked me to the barn and threw me inside like I was trash. The slaves who remained were here and all backed of into the corners. I saw Derek, he was chained to the wall with 3 others, like they were animals. Dad came at me again and I tried very hard to keep him off of me, but failed miserably. He put me on my stomach and I screamed uncontrollably when he came inside. He was done and he sat down, out of breath. Then he put me in a chain and put me next to Derek but far enough so we couldn’t touch each other. ‘You’ll stay here until you learn your place, to appreciate what you have. Have no illusions, i’ll break you’. And then he just left and left me behind chained and naked to a wall. Derek rushed to as far as his chain let him. Someone came and put me in one of their trousers ‘thank you’ I said. I sat down and I could sit against Derek but we couldn’t hug each other. ‘Are you in much pain?’ He asked ‘Yes, but I’ll live. He has never been this horrible before, I think he is going to make an example of me’. He looked at me, not knowing what to say. I looked around ‘I’m so sorry about my father’. But they wanted no apology, they wanted to take care of me and my wounds. I woke when a streak of sun hit my face through a crack. I saw that Derek forced himself in a painful position, only to let me sleep. He gave me a kiss, it wasn’t a secret anymore now anyway.   
Dad came in with a big grin on his face, we stood and I tried not to shake with fear for what he could do to me now. The way he looked at me, it scared the hell out of me. A handful of slaves came in and collected everyone to go outside. Dad unchained everyone and took us outside, where everyone was. There was a lot of tension, I and everyone else where scared as hell of my dad. He just enjoyed being the boss. ‘You are all going away for a little while, there was a big fire at the mayor's house and he needs everyone’s help’ he stopped for a second and grinned even more, it wouldn’t surprise me if he set the fire. ‘That means I can give my undefined attention into trying to man up my son’. Me and Derek were the only ones standing near him, he pushed Derek away and his parents hold him in his place. ‘I want you all to see what he has coming, and you can say your goodbyes, because you won’t recognize him when you return’. Derek and many others cried, I saw they wanted to help me but were too scared to. ‘He is still recovering, please leave him alone’ it was Derek, it was his plea to help me. Dad laughed, while smacking me to the ground ‘he is not going to be one of you, i’ll make a man out of him, one way or the other’. ‘What did I do to make you hate me so much?’ I managed to get out. ‘This can’t be the man mom fell in love with’. He threw me in the arms of Derek, I could see he was enraged. Derek hugged me, hoping he could protect me a little. He just laughed and came up behind me and pulled down my pants. I looked Derek in the eyes, both crying at this point, how was a such a short time supposed to heal me so fast?! ‘Look at each other, I want you two to remember this moment, his last moment of weakness’. He dropped his pants and came inside, I kept my eyes on Derek, who knew when I was gonna see him again. I squeezed in his back, it hurt so much! Why was he so obsessed with sex and power?   
He was finally done, or so I thought ‘turn him around’ I gave Derek a kiss and turned around myself. He had his belt and started whipping my chest over and over again, at this point I was only standing because of Derek holding me up. ‘Remember these last few days, consider them a warning. If I do this to my own flesh, where does that leave you? Go pack your things, you’ll be collected within an half an hour’. He went inside and everyone but Derek left to collect their things. He left us alone and made sure everyone was gone. Derek held me, not knowing where to hold me where it wouldn’t hurt me. I gave him a kiss, ‘if any of you get a chance to get out or escape, please do. My father has gone insane’. ‘I’ll never go without you’. I looked at him, ‘I’m sorry, I have to close my eyes now for a moment, I am so tired’. I felt his tear on my face as he was roughly pulled from under me. I opened my eyes and looked at him for one last time before passing out.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it :) any tips are always welcome of course :)


End file.
